rarishes: davidstrider: stop scrolling a group of ferrets is referred to as a business of ferrets ok you can scroll again now
YESSSSSSSS -LIL B: everets: *looks at little kid’s... →
everets: *looks at little kid’s drawing* wow that literally looks like garbage. the trash can is right over there by the way. i hope you’re not serious. is that garbage? cats can’t be blue. it’s never happened in the history of the world and it will never happen. i’m going to rip that from…
taco bell employee: how are you today?
me: crunchwrap supreme
Trying to stay awake in a boring class
thestorynotsofar: “ur not a true fan if-“
reblog if these are your tabs at all times
kettlep0t: hotbabysitter: This is very painful to watch she does not deserve vocal cords my leg!
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Laughs hysterically, makes pterodactyl noise, transforms into a potato and rolls out the door and away into the sunset
mermaidscum: jakeforjesus: When you hit delete trying to erase a letter but your computer takes you back a page instead
me: where do you live?
vegan: I'm a vegan
laughfever: Take your age, subtract 2, then add 2, that is your age
imthedad: fact: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
a haiku about making pasta
god fucking dammit does it really take that long for water to boil
Trying to converse with adults:
Adult: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT DOING FOR COLLEGE HAVE YOU VISITED ANY SCHOOLS DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND DO YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE DO YOU PLAY ANY SPORTS YOU SHOULD GET A JOB I HEAR GETTING A JOB IS A GOOD THING GOTTA LEARN THE VALUE OF THE DOLLAR EH WOT
caraknightley: i dont even remember following most of you
golmouf: i wonder how many people wanted to follow me but didnt because they saw my tagged/me
normal teenagers: has sex, does drugs, parties
parents: don't do it again
me: doesn't do dishes
parents: YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL YOU ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART
shavingryansprivates: THIS IS MY FAVORITE 5 SECOND LONG VIDEO EVER